Not my time. :(

This week last weekend I have felt very crampy so I figured I wasn't prego and decided that I am not going to do any more IUI's. I decided I am going to go with IFV and try to do some fund raising or something to get on that as soon as possible.
Then the strangest thing happened. I always, always start spotting by day 26 or 27, but I haven't yet. So then I start to suspect maybe it finally worked. I am suppose to test tomorrow, but I begged the doc to let me today and get my agony over with. Well, the results from the blood test were negative. I was at a 2 again when you need to be at a 19 or higher to be pregnant.
Yes I was very upset as usual. Everyone at work already knows and were very gracious to give me the love and support I needed.
I really feel like this isn't something I can keep waiting on. A good friend of mine has a sister who has endometriosis like I do. She had to go in this last weekend in pain. They found her ovary had twisted over to the side and died, plus a huge cyst was in their and the endometrium had grown onto her bowels and intestines, sticking them together.
While I was pregnant with Brynlee, the endometrium stuck my bowels to my uterus. I am so afraid that something like that will happen to me and I will not be able to have more children. The Doctor only gave me those few times with IUI because he really feels that In Vitro is my only option. He just humored me with some try's.
So, I may be doing some fund raisers here soon to try and earn the money for In Vitro as soon as possible. I can not imagine not ever getting to experience pregnancy again. I loved feeling Brynlee move inside me, and to get to hold a new born baby that is yours is unreal!
Yes, I know motherhood isn't all sunshine and roses, but I am so grateful that I at least got to experience it. It has changed our lives for the better. Brynlee is a huge blessing and I am so grateful for her every day, even when she is naughty and frustrating me. She makes up for it with all her good behavior and love.