Update

So many things have happened since I last updated my blog.  I have been on a roller-coaster ride of emotions with our quest to add to our family.  InVitro has had many complications.  I had a cyst that would not go away.  I went from month to month not knowing if it would go away for us to do invitro.  It became very painful and emotionally draining.  In September the Dr. decided we need to try draining the cyst.  In October I was finally given the go a head to do Invitro.  I started all the medicine.  I had a wonderful feeling about it.  It felt like it was finally going to happen.  On October 30th Ryan and I went to Utah for them to harvest the eggs.  Their were three.  We were so excited.  On Halloween on was on pins and needles just waiting to hear back from the nurse to see how many fertilized and to find out if I would go back on Thursday or Friday to have the eggs implanted.  The day felt extremely long.  At 3:00p.m. I still hadn't heard anything.  I called and left a message.  Fifteen minutes later I finally got the call.  I was still at work so I ran into the hall to take it.  As soon as I heard the Dr.'s voice, I was worried.  I ran outside of the building to hear him.  I asked if none of the eggs fertilized, he said no the opposite.  All three fertilized, the problem was that all three fertilized with two sperm. I thought that was impossible so I was confused.  I still didn't understand.  The Dr. was very sympathetic  and explained that all my eggs were unusable.  They contain too many DNA, and that would result in a cancer and that they would never put anything like that inside me.  
I was completely numb.  I was trying to register that my dream was over.  Ryan had told me we would never do this again, this was our last chance.  I just wanted to run and hide.  I grabbed my kids and hurried home.  Ryan immediately left work to be with me.  My girls looked so worried and I could barely tell Brynlee what was wrong.  She was so sweet and told me she would hold me on the couch.
When I got home and ran to finally break down completely in my room.  A few minutes later I hear my door bell.  I also hear the garage.  When I came up front to see what was going on, my nieces and nephew were here to trick or treat.
I realized, I was going to have to pull myself together for my kids.  My daughter Brynlee was so excited to go trick or treating.  So maybe it was a blessing it happened on Halloween.  I had to get out of my pity party and be a mom to my two girls.  I was on the verge of tears all night and I told my boss I had to take off work the rest of the week.
The next day I called and set up an appointment to talk with the Dr.  He was incredible.  He had us in on Friday so we could discuss our options.  He was completely shocked this happened to us, but explained  a lot of things to us that we didn't know about fertility.  We do get to try again. This next time we will do it with their help of inserting each egg with one sperm.  I may get to start in December if my cyst doesn't come back.  I am very hopeful.  I feel like this is the path we should be on.  I am grateful for my two beautiful girls, but I don't feel like we are complete yet.  This is a heart wrenching path to be on, but every time I look at Presley I think about how we could have never had her with out invitro and Heavenly Father.  So I will keep praying that all works out and we can add another child to our family.
I know this was a really long post, but sometimes it is easier for me to get out the whole story, so thanks for letting me ramble on and on.